Astonishing but true: I have been here for one month already!
Equally hard to believe is how completely at home I feel. It's as though I just walked in and set up camp and found this immediate contentedness to be living and working here, though a stranger in a strange country. In some ways, everything is new and exciting. I am eating unusual foods, hearing a new language in my ears, and observing carefully the people I see, in an attempt to gain a better understanding of this culture. My life these days is interesting and invigorating, confusing and sometimes overwhelming, but overall, I'm enjoying the process.
I am a foreigner in a foreign country. I experience culture shock every day. I am the sore thumb that stands out for being taller and paler-faced, the one who misinterprets situations because of language barriers, and probably unwittingly makes hundreds of social faux-pas in any given moment. I am the "weiguk" (Korean word for foreigner) that doesn't fit into the status quo. The odd girl out. On many levels this could be a very lonely place for me. But I don't feel alone.
I want to give credit where credit is due. God has been very kind to me. I seek Him a lot. Before I got here, I asked and waited and allowed Him to lead me, and I wish I could express to you, so you could see it too... this physical, tangible evidence... that there is a God who cares deeply for His children.
Seek Him first and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33) In this process of learning to trust Him, I have found my every need has been met, sometimes even before I realized I would have a need. And not just in ordinary things! Some of the ways I've experienced His provision have been quite extraordinary, in that excessive, extravagant, trademark way that He loves.
He gives me more than I need so that I know that His gifts are for sharing.
I have been so richly provided for, in such simple and profoundly personal ways, that only someone who knows me intimately could have devised them. I feel loved and known. I don't know how long He will have me here for, but it doesn't matter. He is my home. This means that where He calls me next will be Home too! Not in the familiar, nostalgic way that freshly-baked pulla bread with Mom's raspberry jam, chaotic family dinners and reunions with loved ones make me feel at home, but in the sense that I am known and loved, and I am learning to know and love the One who made me.
Perhaps this lyric might better express what I'm attempting to put my words to. It's from an old Steve Bell song that I love. I had scrawled these lines into a journal during my university years, when, for the first time, I was experiencing that uprooting and unsettling nature of life outside of my childhood home. This concept of what constitutes home has, for a long time, ignited much contemplation in me.
Home is anywhere He leads me...
Home is where I want to be
Home is where I live with Jesus
I'll be at home eternally.
I think I'm finally starting to understand that.
Don't misinterpret this sense of home. It's not a settling place. So much in my life is still so unpredictable and transient. I'm not anticipating this transience ending anytime soon. I probably won't live in South Korea for the rest of my life. And that's okay. I don't mind the moving. It keeps life fresh and me on my toes. Home is not a house with a white picket fence, a choice of paint colors, and a chimney with smoke curling out of it. It is not even a light in a window, glinting at me throughout life's journey like some far-off, unreachable destination. Sometimes, this home of which I speak can be a resting place... but we don't rest forever. There is work to do! Beautiful, good works prepared in advance for us. And in asking the Master Builder and Carpenter to construct His designs in my life, I find myself sitting here, in a completely foreign and unfamiliar country and culture, still very much at home...
It is pouring down rain today for the first time since I arrived in South Korea. But I'd rather have rain and chopsticks and the knowledge of a Creator who loves me, than anything else the world has to offer.
I am where I should be.
I am home.